Modeling Consent

Curious what all this consent-culture-yada-yada talk looks like in real life? Check out this post on Disrupting Dinner Parties. The author writes about going to a "hippy-dippy, counterculture" dance event in northern Washington. There are privacy reasons for not mentioning the specific event, but lets just say there was lots of partner dancing, "skinny-dipping", "classes/skillshares", and "discussions about things like consent and gender". If you can't figure it out, ask a blues dancer for help.

So why is this so amazing? The author of the post, Rebecca, meets someone, sexual tension starts to grow and then this happens:

“Rebecca, I’d like to kiss you”

I was taken off-guard. No one had ever verbally asked me to kiss them before unless I was physically keeping my face away from theirs so that they couldn’t. “Oh wow” I thought… “He is actually asking for consent!” And for something as “small” as a kiss. And that phrasing, “I’d like to kiss you”. I felt desired, but not pressured. It didn’t spoil the mood like the awkward, weirdness of, “Can I kiss you?” It gave me a chance to think about it: I did have some reservations. I was afraid that kissing him might lead him to believe we were going to have sex. But damn, I did want to kiss him, so I replied with a small, breathless “ok” and leaned in.

This is exactly what "consent is sexy" means. Verbal communication, when done correctly, adds to a sexual encounter. The next day the guy made a point to seek out Rebecca and check it. She was shocked that he would take the time to make sure everything was okay.

I was completely blown away by this experience. It was the first time I had ever seen consent practices so explicitly modeled. I want to pass it on. I want to take all aspects of this interaction out of the counter-culture setting and bring them to the mainstream. 

BAM. Consent culture. Do it.

Source.